Reflections

I married into a family of Power lineman. My husband, his brother and father all work for different electric companies to keep electricity flowing to homes and businesses. So what? What's that mean? Well, family get-togethers consist of conversations about tri-plex, OCR's, transformers, cutouts, single-phase lines, safety equipment ect. And no, I can't tell you anything more about those topics than you probably know already. :) But what I do know is that lineman are a different type of guy (or gal but there's  not to many of them so they're extra special. :] ). I mean that with sincerity, honesty and truly out of love.  These men work in all weather conditions, hot, cold, snow, ice, rain, wind. They're out making sure strangers have power instead of being home with their loved ones.
One of the coolest things I remember Randy telling me is that on his storm outage trip out of town the best part of his day, no matter what time at night it was, how cold it was, or how long they had been working, was to see people's Christmas trees light up in the windows. Sure he had been away from home for what would be a total of 5 days and miss Christmas, but he was selfless and knew the joy those families would have when their lights came back on.

Over the month of October and the last week of September we have experienced heartbreak and extreme sadness. One of my husband's co-workers was in a terrible accident. He suffered extreme brain damage and eventually lost his fight. On the 6th of October, Nick took his last breath and joined Jesus.  Over the experience I have seen the strength of a women so strong in her faith and trusting in her Savior. I'm sure she got angry, I'm sure she let go, but she trusted. Knowing that her two beautiful little boys would likely be fatherless and she would have to start her life without a husband.

from: http://www.tlc-systems.com/artzen2-0097.htm

In all honesty, I don't think it is coincidence that electric poles are shaped like crosses.  I never noticed it before, but since we lost Nick, on my drive to school one pole forms the most perfect cross on the green hillside. Maybe I've been to distracted to notice it before, but I don't think so. I think with my surroundings, I have begun to watch power lines more than I like to admit.  I think God has put it there to give me a sense of peace on my drive, which often makes me think of the accidents and calls I've been on and keep coming back. I don't know. But what I do know is that when  for King & Country's "Proof of Your Love" comes on when I'm at that point, I about lose it. (I'll post the link to the song below.) That song was posted onto Nick's wall prior to the accident, not being "facebook friends" with him, it's one of the things I can see.  It's a huge reminder about love.
"So let my life be the proof, 

The proof of Your love

 Let my love look like You 

and what You're made of 

How You lived, 

how You died

 Love is sacrifice 

So let my life be the proof, 

The proof of Your love"

 This has become my prayer, that I act in a way each and everyday, that reflects the love of Christ in every single person I meet. That it becomes the proof of love so that even just one person become interested in Christ and his love. Because that's what this life is all about, and though I didn't know Nick well, he exemplified this belief.

I've struggled with this finishing this post.  Maybe it's because I don't know how I would react had that situation been me and loosing the love of my life. Maybe it's because I've experienced multiple calls that I hope no one ever has to go through and have seen the pain and hurt in families.  I have nothing to say that can take away the hurt and pain that people in our life are feeling. I can't say, "I know how you feel." because I don't. I've never had to experience that close of a devastating personal loss. I think that's what bothers me the most. I can't fix it and it drive me absolutely nuts.  I can't make it all okay. I can't run tests to find out what is wrong and give medications to fix the hurt or the pain and I guess, that is something I need to learn to deal with because this isn't going to be the last time this happens (it wasn't the first either). I'm incredibly thankful and blessed to have a great friend to talk things through (besides randy). [He's another story though and how God has placed him into our lives.]

With continued prayer and reflection, I will cope. I will begin to understand why God works the way he does and even though we don't understand it, what happens is God's work and we know that is good and perfect.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5&6